


tfw no kaneki

by tskiyamas



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3316844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tskiyamas/pseuds/tskiyamas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>it was just another normal day until suddenly tsukiyama could feel a  feely feel in his tremolo filled chest</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. tssukiyama's big schlong

**Author's Note:**

> 8=================D

tsukiyama walked on the street. he was holding his dick in his hand. he was jqcking off his schlong whiile he walked. people around him sttarted crying. a baby died 

tsukiyama walked up to anteiku cafe, or should i say anSHITu cafe HOLY FUCK GET FUCKING REkT HOLHY SHIT!!!!!!¡¡!¡¡¡¡!¡¡!¡¶!!¡←←! FUUUUUUCCCCCCCKkKKKkKKKKKKKK

anyways after the narrator (that me -_-) gave áñtéíkú cáfé a serious burn Tsugayama walked into it ,his big, slick, juicy, thic, long, donger flapping in the wind. touka looked ovr @ him'

"WHAT LE FUCK" she scream and every1 lokk at her a:ll crazy like wtf honestly why would she do that .lol  
"wtf honestly why would you do that" kaneki_hte_hakker_69 exclai   
med  
touka pointed @ the gay frenchy that stood before her. kaneki scream 

"WHAT TH#E FUCK IS THAT " kanek 's eyebrows had ripped off his face, flying over to tsukiyam's dick adn beating the shit out of it. tsukiyama crie

"kankan y u no leik my wang" tsukiyama cried, tipping his fedora to hide his very gay-like tears. 

kaneki raged "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" and used his Surpreme meme skillz 2 hack Tsukiyanma out of hte cafe 

tsukiyama sat in his big ass fuckimg mansion (he has a mansion because he is a stripper at a local stripclub and has lots of ¥¥¥¥¥¥¥ (they live in japan and do not use american currency so it would be culturally innacurate to write $$$)) anyways tssukyama sat on his bed and cried with a tfw no gf face .kanae slithered ovr amd softly pet the man's face "ssshhhhhh i'm here 4u babe"

tsukiyama crie and whisper "tfw no kanekki"


	2. no homo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no homosexuality because this chapter is 10000% straight, no gay thoughts whatsoever

hide & kaneki met at their usual place, the local gay strip club on the corner of NoHomo street and I'mNotGay avenue. them two each had a g:lass of alcohol. hide had a strawberry margarita with 3 extra shots (he is extra homo 2night) and kanek had straight up wiskey because he's hardcore as fuck 

"bro-chan" kaneki said very nonhomosexual-y because he is NOT gay, "u would not believe what happened at work today"

"what is it bro" hide said in a heterosexual way 

"this guy f:lashed his wang @ me .i could see his sack and everythinb'

"was it nice bro" hide-bro-chan-san asked, whivhch is NOT a gay question this is a 100% heterosexual question

"ummmmmmmm bro isnt that gy" kanenekk asked 

"no bro as long as the nuts dont touch it's 100% straight. i have this book here that says so' heede holds up a book "see, the title says 100 Things To Do To Prevent Being Gay"

"bro"

kanek fistbumped hide because they are real bros .kaneki takes a swig of his whiskey before lookimg at the poledancers'. thats when he sees him

"oh my god"  
"whhat bro"  
"bro that's the guy"  
"???????????? the fuck u mean bro"  
"bro-chan-san-kun-senpai ,thats the guy who flashed me"

hide looks over adn sees tsukiyama. tsukiyama's legs sparkle in the ligth because he just shaved that morning and his legs are super s,mooth

"holy fiuck" kaneki gets a boner -------- WAIT THAT'S GAY WTF

"BRO THAT.'S GAY" hide screa,m 

kaneki igmnores him and throws cash money @ tsukigay. tsukiyama winks @him and kaneki gets super hard

tsukiyama knows tfw kaneki & kaneki turns super homosexual


	3. get out of my swamp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the long awaited chapter update. this one gets super gay

"hey lil mama let me whisper in your ear"

tsukiyama was licking kaneki's ear with a really long tongue. like really long. like what the fuck how is this even human 

kankan got a really long boner. his schlong poked out of his pants and he got the blushus u///w///u "daddy tsukiyama >///w///u" 

who's my little kitten" the smexy Fricking hot frenchie said as he waved his ass in the air like a little slut

"i'm your little kitten....nyaaaaa rawr:3c" kaneki did the :3c face while he mewed like a lil kitteh xD

hide was cryin becasue he lost his bro. his brofriend. his no homo heterostraight bruh. how could he be ungay with his best man gone

ogre nishiki came strutting along in thongs. his legs were $up3r $m00th like tsukiyama's and he flashed them put in front of hide

"holy shit im gay" hhide exclaimed very homosexual-y as he sniffed the leg. mmmmmm it smelled like strawberry

"get out of my swamp" nishiki said with a shrek voice. holy shit was it hot oh my god Hide got an instant boner and he felt like he was going to cum right then and there

Tsukiyama stook out his arms and picked up Xx_fAzE_kLaN_kAnEkI_xX and 360 no scoped both of them into the smexy room ;;;;;) when they got there he sllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooöoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy took off his thongs. his schlong gleamed in the sunlight (literally, there was sunlight in the room. what the hel how is that even possible. this is my fanfic and i dont even know what's going on)

kaneki reached out and stroked his finger against the smooth, shiny buttcheek.

"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" he licked his lips very sexily. Tsukiyamyam winked, glad that he had shaved his ass the night before.

"why dont we both.............. get it on" tsukiyama whispered very gay into kabeki's ear. kaneki felt a wave of gay crash into him and he was just so gay holy fuck Kaneki please get your gay under control

kaneki nodded and suddenly he ripped his clothes off. he gave tsukiyama an uke face and blushu'd uwu. tsukiyama's chin started growing and soon he had a dorito chin and really wide shoulders. his 6 pack suddenly grew to a 30 pack and his hands grew to the size of cars. he completed his magical girl transformation and became dorito chin tsukiyama

HOT SEXXY 18+ YAOI SMUT BELOW DONT LIKE DONT READ!!!!!!!!!!

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in next chapter


End file.
